Forgive Me, For I Have Sinned

I hope there’s a high-speed Internet connection in heaven. Not because I’m that addicted to the Internet. Heck, you’re assuming that’s where I’m headed. No, I hope there’s that high-speed connection so God knows how easy and tempting it is to sin with abandon while online. For that matter, are digital sins covered in the good book? I don’t remember seeing a commandment on the subject.

Now before you get the wrong idea, I’m not using the Internet to sin like the other 95 percent of the world is. My digital sinning is restricted to greed, envy, sloth and gluttony. Seems like every time I jump online I find a way to commit one of the aforementioned sins.

(Read more on the subject from John W Scherer on the subject here.)

Take envy for example. You know how easy it is to window shop for things you have no chance of ever affording? Have you been to Ferrari’s web site? Or Apple’s? I have. Many, many times. And when I leave, there’s a pool of drool on my desk.

But my digital sinning doesn’t stop there. Despite the fact that rarely is there anything interesting being reported, I’m a news junkie. If there is a breaking story that I happened to be interested in, I want constant updates and I want a lot of them. Greedy and gluttonous and I don’t care.

Which brings me to sloth– perhaps the most egregious of my digital sins. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve sat down to check my e-mail and the next thing I know three hours have passed with me accomplishing nothing. Just like that, three hours wasted. Very slothy, I’d say.

So, how do I atone for my digital sins? I suppose that depends on how guilty you think I feel, because, if you want to know the truth, I don’t feel too bad. Honest. Sure, there are better ways I could waste my time, but why? The Internet’s too much fun.

–Patrick C.